And so. I have become another victim of the Covid-19 economic downturn. I received a phone call about the job I had been told I was successful for. The one that they needed filling immediately. The one that was still needed, but slightly delayed due to level 4. Perhaps Mid May. Yes. All being well around there.

But no. Ah. The dangers of working (potentially) for a charity or non-profit. Lack of resources. Full restructure. Employment freeze.

And I get it. Of course I do. But I wanted that role so badly. For so many reasons, both selfish (I need a job – I need the money badly) and also altruistically. (It was a position where I could have helped others very much.)

But it is not to be. Possibly. In a few months. After the restructure. They may call. They may not. I have to rethink.

There has been much to rethink recently.

And so. Back to the drawing board and trawling employment sites and looking for suitable roles. The issue here is of course gaining attention. I’m told I’m over qualified for some, but under qualified for others. Usually this is recruiter-speak for ‘not currently employed’ or ‘no paid experience.’

This irritates me so much, as I’m a can-do person, great at picking up new skills, as well as being exceptionally organised, disciplined and able in all manner of areas. I’m one of those people who just can. If I set my mind to something, it’ll happen. And it’ll be amazing. Yet a lot of this experience has been in the voluntary sector. Nobody cares how hard one might have worked to create something fantastic from nothing, if you didn’t get paid for it, it’s deemed worthless.

I have so many friends that continually ask me “why aren’t you doing (insert name of role here)? You’d be great at that.”

Yes. Yes I would, but people don’t actually care about giving people like me a chance. You know, the over forty, had a break to look after children, oh, and let’s chuck in that disease we know nothing about. Isn’t it degenerative, and incurable, what does that even mean?

Years ago I was told to tell nobody about it. It would affect my job prospects and I wouldn’t be looked upon favourably. With my usual bravado I proclaimed I wouldn’t be ashamed of something that wasn’t my fault. Aren’t there lots of people out there that have diabetes, asthma, high blood pressure? They aren’t discriminated against. Of course, nobody ever discriminates against me because of Parkinson’s Disease. No, of course not. They all believe in diversity, and they even employ women. But not it seems, women who took time off to be at home, or are over the big four-oh, or who have diseases. Regardless of the fact said condition does nothing to slow them down.

Those of you that may have seen some of my comedy routines on Parkinson’s know that I have a line where I say “let’s be honest, I’ve had a career break, I’m of a certain age and I’ve got kids. My job prospects are pretty much screwed already.”

I really wish they weren’t though.